A Century of Memories
by StarGazingAtMidnight
Summary: 100 one-shots about the crew of the Starship Enterprice. Mainly Jim-centric.  Drabblefic
1. Beginnings

_**Beginnings **_

* * *

><p>It took a while for him to see it. He didn't notice it when first sat in that chair<p>

-_oh God, how can I do this, what am i going to do, I'm too young, Holy FUCK-_

He didn't notice it when they escaped the black hole.

_-vealivealivemygodwe'realiveohgod_Vulcan_somanygoneso_fucking_many_-

He didn't notice it when his crew

–my _crew, how the _fuck _did that happen?-_

Stopped him in the corridors to make him go to sleep, to eat, to _get your god damn ass down to Med-Bay Now_! when they were running on fumes and _his_ ship

–_because it's mine, it's always been mine_-

was practically held together with goddamn duct tape!

He didn't notice it when they stepped off the Enterprice to the screaming crowds, when his crew split off to embrace their families and he was standing there alone

–'_Cause why would they show up now, doesn't matter he had nearly _died,_ no, they'd probably throw a party-_

and the interviewers called his name, but before he could move, he was surround by his crew and their families and he was introduced as "My Captain".

It didn't happen until about a week after all was said and done, when he looked around his dorm room and they were there. Scotty was teaching Chekov how to create the perfect Meatball Sub, Uhura was chatting to Sulu in Korean, and Bones and Spock were 'arguing' over the newest thesis put out by Dr. Drew Brown on the possibility of spreading Gfrundious Malouise via transporter, did he realise.

This was different from everything else.

He had people who were going to stand by him, even after knowing most of them for barely a week, no matter what.

He wasn't running from his past anymore.

This was a brand new chapter in the mess that was his life.

This was a new beginning.


	2. Gold

_**Gold**_

* * *

><p>Until Jimmy was 12, Gold was just another pretty colour in the rainbow. His favourite colour, so strong, shiny and significant, and he wore it as often as possible.<p>

* * *

><p>Until J.T was 22, Gold was the colour of Tamo Locando shots. Two of them, and he was so wasted he forgot.<p>

He forgot Frank, "_You are no-one! Get back here you little bastard!"_

His mother, "_You killed him! It was your fault!_"

His Brother, "_I can't be a Kirk here, you're on your own, you were always the good one anyway_."

His kids faces, _Eyes sunken, cheeks hallow, lips dry and cracked, crying for moremoremore and he failed, he couldn't give them enough! _

His baby girl's words, "_Love you daddy", then there was alarms and ! and silence and "I'm sorry Mr. Kirk, but her heart gave out, there was nothing we could do,"_

Carol's hateful words, "_You got your daughter killed, how could you have not noticed she was sick? You're not doing that to David. I'm taking him and you aren't going to follow us, why should you, what good could you do for him, you nothing but a screw up!"_

He Forgot.

* * *

><p>Until Jim was 25, Gold was the colour he strived for, the colour he would one day wear, <em>because he would show all of them, FrankMotherSamCarolAdmiralty, the hick from the middle of nowhere would be the most famous, youngest, bravest captain in the history of Starfleet!<em>

* * *

><p>Until The Captain was 28, Gold was the colour of the shirt he wore every day, his greatest achievement, <em>because he fucking did it! Youngest captain in Starfleet history with the <em>best damn crew_ in the whole fleet and he had a family now, not by blood, but by choice and that was even more important._

* * *

><p>Until Darlin' was 35 and dying in an exploding Star Ship, The Enterprice, his <em>home, <em>Gold was the colour of his real greatest achievement, one of the most important things in the galaxy to him_, the ring that sat proudly on his ring finger, the thing that tied him to the man he loved, to Bones._

* * *

><p>And for eternity onwards, Gold was the colour of the light that shone around them, of home, <em>because they arrived, one by one, and he greeted them with a hug, smile, laugh, kiss and they travelled the stars again, worry and pain free because they were here, safe and freefreefree<em>


	3. Win

_**Win**_

* * *

><p>He should have known it was going to end like this. He knew it since he was a kid that he'd die alone, <em>forgotten, abandoned<em>. He had know ever since he first saw the ship, the _motherfucking_ ship that looked like something from the future _and that should have been his first fucking clue_! He had done what his father done, sent them to the shuttles until he was alone-_god, so alone_- and he was going to fly the Enterprice into the ship. And, God, if that didn't make him laugh because this was it, he was going out like his father and he was fucking _scared_! He was going to die on a doomed ship all alone, so alone...

Except...

He wasn't. He could still hear them over the comms,

"Jim, you must desist! I am relieving you of duty! Brother, _please_-"

"Keptain, _please_! Please! There is still time-"

"Jim! Don't fucking do this!-"

"Cap'in, please stop! We'll be fine, get yerself out-"

"JAMES TIRBERUS KIRK DON'T YOU DARE! Please Jim! Please stop! Pleasepleaseplease-"

"GODDAMMIT JIM! DON'T DO IT! PLEASE! YOU SWORE! YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T GO OUT LIKE HIM! THINK ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER, YOUR SON! THINK ABOUT _ME_! Please darlin', don't pleasepleaseplease I love you so much! I loveyouloveyouloveyou-"

"DADDY! Please daddy, come back! Daddy please!-"

And his new born son's cries echoed over the comm. And he wanted to do what they said. He wanted to stop, to turn around, to beam out, but, he had to do this, they had to live! So he spoke his last,

"Love you"

And there was a sickening crash, he flew forward, lights blaring, alarms screaming and then there was a flash of white and it was done.

Over.

Finished.

The End.

Or was it?

He opened his eyes.

Eyes wide, he took in everything around him. He didn't know where he was but he was safe.

Warm.

Loved.

And then there was a hand on his shoulder, a mirror of him, with hazel eyes instead of blue, and he was hugged and James told him the words he had longed for,

"You did it. They're safe, you can see them soon, they'll be here when the time is right"

There's no such thing as a no-win scenario.

Because he had saved them. And he counted that was a win


	4. Lose

_**Lose**_

* * *

><p>The good thing about wearing blue, is that if you are running down the corridor, barking orders, people soon get<em> the fuck outta <em>your_ fucking way!_ Because only two groups wear that colour. Science Officers and Medical Personal. So either something was blowing up in the labs, or someone was dying.

Of course, for you, it's always the second reason.

You skid into the transporter room as they arrive in a swirl of white-gold light and you've already got him in your arms and on the stretcher before they can step down. He's convulsing, those _ likeaGeorgiansky _eyes are squeezed shut, he has his mouth clamed shut, but let's out this tiny whimper that _terrifies_ you. His golden shirt is soaked with crimson blood and you don't know how long it takes_ secondsminuteshours?_ But you're in the surgery and you trying to repair the damage _somuchtodotoomuchbloodgone_ and you know you're working against God, because he flatlines twice _nonononoNOdon'' _but dammit you're not giving him up, you're not gonna lose.

And then he's lying in that bed, breathing shallow _asifhesnot_ still_ sincewhenisheeverthatstill_ and silent_ goddammitdarlin'wakeupineedyou_.

Three days later, he opens those eyes and you hug him tight, kiss him hard and swear you're gonna tie him to the bed and never let him go on away missions again.

But he will, and you'll have to fight God again.

But you will_ not _lose.

* * *

><p>Okay, that was short!<p>

anyway, thanks anyone who has read this story! Also, major thanks to Unknown() for my first review! Because you're the first, you can choose which gets updates next, _Diamond_ or _Children_?


	5. Children

Her eyes flash with annoyance, her lips a stern line, posture angry and defensive. She doesn't need to glance around the room to know her posture is mirrored by its other occupants. Their eyes, hard, stare straight ahead, shoulders stiff with barely suppressed anger, moments jerky and restrained. She takes a cleansing breath, trying to rid the Tathilock Ambassadors' smug smile from her mind.

'_Children_," her thoughts snarled in disgust. '_He called us _children_. He has_ no_ right._'

She knows that they are young, it's only their third year into their five year mission and the average age is 29. She knows that they may seem childish at times, but that is only a front they use to stop themselves cracking under the pressure, so they can pretend for a few hours that they don't have friends and families lives in their hands.

They are not children.

A child doesn't stay awake at night, plagued with the thought of what could have happened enough he, 'vas only a little faster'.

A child doesn't listen to her friends scream and cry over the Comms while she is helpless to do nothing but listen.

A child doesn't kill another and make snap decisions to save the life of a friend.

A child doesn't see his mother slip from his hands and his home torn apart, his people murdered in the blink of an eye.

A child doesn't push himself harder than is healthy to keep his home in one piece and fights against time to come up with theories that could save or kill them all

A child doesn't work against God to try and keep someone he knows, be it friend or family, from bleeding out on the table and taking it personally when it's just too late.

A child doesn't have the higher-uppers watch his move, just waiting for him to slip up and spends most his nights going through the 'what if's?' on the last disaster filled away mission. A child doesn't have the press shadow his every move or put himself in danger to save another because he can't lose another member of his suddenly huge family, not again.

A child never goes through this, because once their innocence is lost, they may be young and inexperienced, but they are no longer children.

They lost that privilege when a planet was wiped out, a race was put into the brink of extinction, four-fifths of their class were torn apart and they became the crew of the Starfleet's Flagship.

They may seem childish when they have stupid games in the Rec room, when the Captain declares a 'Comic-Con' day of dress or when they giggle at the Admiral's dumbstruck face when their captain tears apart any complaint filed, But they are not children.

* * *

><p>...Two weeks. This is like, two weeks late.<p>

You have no idea how disappointed i am in myself :(

I really did mean to update several times, but two things happened.

1: my exams were hell. And I mean _hell_. So far, I've been confirmed with 4 A's, 3 B's and 2 D's. My dad basically went mental and banned me from my laptop. If anyone asks, this story is 'English creative writing revision'.

2: ...this chapter was impossible to write.

And I mean, _**I M P O S S I B L E**_

Anyways, this chapter really, _really_ hated me! The only reason i have this done id due to three cups of coffee (Nectar of the _Gods!_) at three in the morning.

So, without further adu, thank you to: Anonmyous999 and Moira Weasley for the Alerts, and Youagainstmelover97 for the fav! :D


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